Gail Minsky: Eulogy
Unto Every Person There is a Name
Unto every person there is a name
bestowed on her by God
and given to her by her parents.Unto every person there is a name
accorded her by her stature
and type of smile
and style of dress.Unto every person there is a name
conferred by the mountains
and the walls which surround her.Unto every person there is a name
granted her by Fortune's Wheel,
or that which neighbors call her.Unto every person there is a name
given to her by her enemies
or by her love.Unto every person there is a name
derived from her celebrations
and her occupation.Unto every person there is a name
which she receives from the sea
and is given to her by her death.
Eulogy for Gail Minsky
Unto every person there is a name
bestowed on her by God
and given to her by her parents.
In September of 1935, Glena and John welcomed their daughter, Gail. Gail's brother Herb has only praises for her: "She was as close to perfect as they come. She could synthesize things and put them in simple terms." He, a judge, praises her judgment and her ability to relate to people. In fact, her ability to relate to people was an echoing accolade.
Though her marriage to Burt ended in divorce, his presence here speaks of their mutual respect.
Gail moved to San Francisco to work in the hotel industry and met Gary, who was from back home—Worcester. They balanced each other in their 18 year marriage—and she became a second mother to Sharon and Risa and a grandmother to their children.
She was proud of her own children, Margot and Chip. I asked Margot what Gail was like as a mother. Margot replied, "As a mother or as a friend?" There were calls 3-4 times each week because "I want to talk with my friend."
"I was so proud of her. I loved having her around to shop with, eat with, go to the movies with, I enjoyed watching her kvell over my kids, celebrate holidays with, cook with (ok, more like watch her cook!), and just being with her."
Michael describes himself as lucky to have Gail as a mother-in-law and described her as a pretty neat lady who would watch the game, knowing the score and who's on base ... as she knitted. She seemed to "know the score" in many ways ...
Her son Chip writes: "Mom was tremendously helpful and compassionate when I needed it most. But more than anything else, I could always share my joys and pleasure and successes, and they—reflected through her—would always be greater. I will miss that greatly."
In some way, Gail will be present when you, Chip and Juliette, drink Ghirardelli double-chocolate hot chocolate together for the rest of your lives. (Notice, I'm not pressuring ...)
Unto every person there is a name
accorded her by her stature
and type of smile
and style of dress.
Janet was not the only one to describe her as always looking wonderful. She could find the top designers in Filene's Basement as though she had a special radar and 3 markdowns later, she would bring it home.
Margot recalls: "I'd often get a call from her while she was shopping. She'd find herself in the children's section of a store and she'd want to know my kids' size or found a top that made her think of me and want to know if I'd wear it. The clothes were always a great price ... boy did she know how to shop."
Gail could do it all. Chip once asked Auntie Janet, "What do you do?" Auntie Janet replied "I take care of Emily and Andrea ..." And Chip said, "But what do you do..?" Janet herself shared this story because of her admiration for all that Gail could do—making both her children and career top priority.
And while doing it all, her strength shone through. Gail rarely complained of her discomfort when she had cancer and though eating finely prepared meals was her great joy, even when eating became difficult, it did not stop her from enjoying life. Emily noted that her aunt wanted to be engaged in the world and as a parent.
Unto every person there is a name
conferred by the mountains
and the walls which surround her.
Gail traveled to Egypt, China, Peru, and Spain and had plans to go with Gary to Costa Rica in the Spring. "Meema" would bring dolls home for Melissa from around the world. Sam was just content to have her home: "She's really nice and kind. I like to play board games with her."
Her future would have brought her more travel: In her 40's, Gail had returned to school at Cornell University's Hotel school and based on her on-going dedication was about to become the 2nd vice president of the Cornell Hotel Society which would have meant traveling the world when she became president in two years time.
Her friend Natalie writes: "It is so difficult to conceive of her gone from my life. I hope she has 'traveled' to a place of her dreams. She deserves no less."
Unto every person there is a name
granted her by Fortune's Wheel,
or that which neighbors call her.
Gail's niece Andrea remembers: "As I understand it, one of the things that made her an excellent manager was that although she had a real sense of the 'finer things' and held very high standards, she also had a real sense of people and was able to see them for who they were-across all kinds of social and class lines."
Sylvia Gordon called her friend: a friend of 60 years, who shared her birthday, September 28th. They did not have memories together, they had lived life together—through weddings and divorces and weddings and births and deaths and travel. When one called the other, the other had been about to call. Sadly, Gail could not live up to the promise written in the most recent birthday card she sent to Sylvia: it said that they would grow old together.
Unto every person there is a name
given to her by her enemies
or by her love.
We don't know of Gail's enemies. We know how much her family and friends loved her. We know of the many people who signed the online guestbook. We have an inkling of how many people she would host when they came to visit San Francisco. We know how she treated everyone and showed great respect to everyone with whom she came into contact.
Unto every person there is a name
derived from her celebrations
and her occupation.
Cousin Greta writes: "There are many parallels in Gail's life and mine. (Perhaps that is why we were so close.) There was the divorce, the change of career and going back to school in our early 40's, the success that brought...and important in all of that was the fact that neither of our mothers could understand the need for the divorce, the need for leaving one job and going back to school, nor could they understand the choice we made of subject matter. We supported each other and that made the difficulties along the way somewhat easier for each of us."
Before going back to school and becoming a hotelie ...
She was a dental hygienist.
She sewed.
She knitted including a poncho for Emily and blankets for Melissa and Sam.
She cooked.
She catered.
She taught home economics.
Add to that: recently, she was a mystery shopper and would invite friends to share in her luxury, even though she would be rating people, places and things by writing copious notes or talking to tape recorders up her sleeve.
She ushered at the Center for the Arts.
Gail's son Chip wrote: "We search for purpose in our lives. Some find it through their children or their God. Others find it by volunteering and community. Some find it in butterflies or comic books or baseball. I think my Mom found her purpose in serving people. She always seemed happiest when she was making other people happy. She built her many careers around serving people and bringing them pleasure."
Unto every person there is a name
which she receives from the sea
and is given to her by her death.
What is that name that Gail Hodos Rosenthal Minsky, Mom, Meema, leaves behind? It is a name synonymous with hospitality and caring, with grace and composure, with strength and compassion, with life savored to the fullest.
Those around Gail during her lifetime felt blessed. It is our turn to make Gail Minsky's memory into a blessing by accepting her legacy as our charge.
—Rabbi Barbara Symons
January 18, 2006